Discreetness: Why do I need to Hide?

One of the most controversial topics in different cultures and religions would be homosexuality.  It is a very hot topic filled with judgement, anger, possibly ignorance and the worse emotion is fear.   A handful would say that it is okay to be gay, but observing from a vantage point of life, homosexuality remains a mystery to me where it is often ridiculed and thrown stones at. 

It is not my goal to induce fear in this blog.  Believe me, I have managed becoming discreetly gay and have my own painful experiences.  I am not totally out and people who are close to me know and understand why I hide.  It did not take me effort to let them comprehend my predicament.  They just know that it was my choice. 

I  use the "I do not care what people think" with enough caution.  Life's mainstream contains twists and turns.  I have to assimilate very well with people and not push my sexuality down their throats.  While it is okay to be gay,  the judgements, whether you don't care or not what people say, will either directly and indirectly may affect you.   I know a lot of gays either deny this or simply just are not aware of this. 

Each one has its own life's fingerprint.  My gay experiences will definitely be different from the other gay men.  My views on here will definitely be judged as well amongst the gay community.  My point of view , my experiences, my emotions and my disposition are as such.  It is just is.  Eventually it boils down to one's life choice being discreet.   I may see the world differently to what other gay men see it. 

Flamboyancy is not my style and it will never be.  My soul says so and would follow that direction.  This is how I gain respect from other people who knows and suspects about my sexuality.  Whilst I have known a few gay flamboyant men who have been successful in life,  I am sure they have their own stories to tell and honestly I would like to learn from them. 

What rocks my boat is a gay man who is the opposite of being flamboyant.  Attraction is something that everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, cannot explain.  You are just attracted to a certain sub-set of society.   I wanted a man who wants to be a man; and I should be that "man" whom I would like to attract - straight acting. 

This is my life. The discreet gay life that I choose to be.